Portrait: Puyallup, Washington

My husband and I have spent our entire young adulthood making what we thought were the "right" choices. He got me through nursing school so I could get a good job and I could, in turn, get him through chiropractic school so he could get his own great job. We moved to Vancouver, WA and he started school in Portland, OR. We had our daughter while he was in school and I was working a job that was less than ideal...we just knew that after he was done with his program, we could move home, he would be hired on in a thriving practice, and I could drop back to part-time work. My dream is to work only a couple days a week so I can primarily be home with our beautiful two year old. 2009 was going to be the year our "real life" started--great jobs, the stress of student life behind us, maybe our second child?? Back in March, when my husband graduated and we were moving home, life seemed exciting and without limits.

Fast forward to now, nearly six months later. Shortly before moving home, we made the stupid, stupid decision to buy a house we can't afford, assuming (stupidly) that a chiropractor and a nurse combo team would make excellent money and an outrageous mortgage wouldn't be so outrageous after all. We were lured by the promise of being able to refinance in a year...which hasn't happened, despite my husband's repeated efforts to contact our bank and inquire about our refinancing options. He is continually told to call back in a month, maybe then a new opportunity will come available.

I immediately went back to the job I had before we moved. At first, my husband got a job in a clinic as an associate chiropractor and for a month (maybe six weeks?) things seemed like they were settling down. We were paying our bills and trying to pay off our credit cards, I was working three days a week, we enrolled our daughter in a fantastic (if very, very expensive) daycare. But then my husband suddenly just...stopped making money. He was never hired with a salary, only on a per-patient-visit basis. And let's face it, people. Chiropractic care is not a necessity, it's a luxury. People weren't flocking in to see him, and the insurance payments on the few people he was seeing were taking weeks and weeks to roll in. First, he went two weeks without a paycheck. Then three, then four...we were able to piece it together during that time, eating up what was left of our savings, but eventually we realized he was essentially working for free...not the plan we had in mind when we were struggling all those years to get him through school.

He quit working at that clinic, after going six weeks with no paycheck, and the owner of the practice still owes him money. Apparently, it is still tied up in insurance payments. Let's hear it for insurance companies, yes? We went on an uber-budget immediately while he started pounding the pavement looking for a new position as a salaried associate chiropractor. I went back to work full-time. He finds odd jobs working for family, a paint job here, roofing a barn there...all while still trying to find work in the field he loves.

And I am feeling desperate. Like so many other Americans, I am just trying to hold it together and praying that my paycheck will cover all the bills this month. I have $2500 in credit card debt and it eats at me. I have never carried such a high amount on my credit card and I am ashamed to even type in the amount, but there it is. I make payments every month and I feel like the balance never changes.

I try to focus on the positive in my life, but that, along with my faith in my small family, is starting to unravel. I am grateful for my job and bitter at the same time that I have to spend 40 hours a week there. I am thankful we have enough money to spend on groceries each week but growing weary of the stress that goes along with trying to make only $100 per week feed three people. I remind myself that we still have extras...a great daycare for our daughter and a membership to the YMCA, but I am filled with sadness and dread that these extras might have to be cut in a month or two, if my husband still can't find work. And I am constantly humbled, and flabbergasted, that things like quality daycare and a gym membership have shifted from the "necessary" to the "extra" category in my budget and my mind.

We are not where we thought we would be in 2009. We have no savings, we are (still) living paycheck to paycheck, and my husband has no job. At least I know we are not the only people struggling. Thank you for keeping this blog...I am hoping to email an update in a month or two saying my husband is employed and things are turning around. I guess we'll see.

Amy Murray
Puyallup, Washington

Portrait Update: Olympia, Washington

I thought I would send you a little update on what's happened since my first post on Portraits.

I wanted to let you, and the readers know that after almost 6 full months of job searching, I finally was able to find a new job! I start training tomorrow, and for the first time in months and months, I will pack a lunch, get in my car and head to work.

I know there are people out there right now who are wondering if they will ever get a job again. Convinced they will never bounce back from this. Who lay in the dark at night wishing their lives were different, wishing they were different. The only thing I can offer up to people in that dark time is hope. Knowing that if they stay positive, keep trying, keeping going to interviews they don't think they want, eventually something will work out. I went to interviews for jobs I knew would make me want to kill myself. I smiled, and told people that I thought I would love the position, that I would fit in perfectly, that their company was perfect for me... while deep inside I wanted to die at the thought of actually working there. I went to interviews where I was the third choice, the second choice, and never the first choice.

And then, out of nowhere, when I had even begun to get used to being unemployed, I found a job. A job with a company that I can be proud of, a position that I can be proud of.

In what felt like my deepest and darkest moments I looked for beauty in my relationship, in friendships, in small moments that could keep me moving forward. Losing my job taught me patience, the ability to let go of control, and to find happiness in the things I have, instead of focusing on the things I want. Now as I move on into the world of employment, I can only hope to hold onto those lessons I learned these last six months.

And in the meantime, I guess I'll just keep dictating my life to others... The Accidental Olympian: One woman's journey of getting laid off, finding it impossible to land another job, moving to Olympia, and eventually starting over.

Ashley

Olympia, Washington

Portrait: Vancouver, Washington

Sunday, May third, was shaping up to be a typical workday for me and my co-workers at the salon I work at. We'd been steady throughout the day, but as the foot traffic tapered off, my co-workers went home. By 4:30 pm, it was just myself, our receptionist Dede and my last client of the day. Thirty minutes before closing, Dede, the receptionist, began to count the cash from the till for the day when the door opened and she looked up to greet the incoming customer.

He wasn't a customer. He was a man with the only intention of robbing our salon. Though he spoke quietly, he threatened to shoot us all if she didn't obey him and demanded that she give him the deposit for the day and all the cash we had on hand. Disoriented, scared and confused, Dede quickly put all the cash lying in front of her into a bank bag and handed it over to him.

"I normally wouldn't do this," he said as she gathered up the money. "but I have a sick child at home."

He left as quickly and quietly as he'd come in, getting away with four hundred dollars. Dede slipped behind the wall that separated my station from the lobby, her eyes wide and her face pale and panicked. "We were just robbed."

Who robs a hair salon? Who would think to do that? It just speaks volumes to me of how desperate people are becoming. My own husband has been unemployed for six months and we are feeling the crunch from that every single day. But it wasn't until now that I truly felt the sting of it all.



Betsy
Vancouver, Washington

Portrait: Olympia, Washington

Unemployment has left me with many dark days. Days where my eyes burn from tears, where I ask myself over and over, “What am I doing wrong?” I have moments where I think I might never find a job, where I will be forced to give in and work in fast food to simply pay my bills. I have days where I doubt my skills, and days where I just want to give up. But strangely enough, unemployment has also brought me extreme joy…

After loosing my job, I made the tough choice to leave Seattle, WA, a city I had grown to love over the last five years, to join my boyfriend on his relocation journey to Olympia, WA. I was packing my bags and moving to a city I had never visited, a city that was smaller, less cosmopolitan, away from friends and familiarity, to try to change my luck. I had used up all my savings trying to pay rent, interviews weren’t producing jobs, and I had run out of options. I was scared, and mostly terrified that my life as I knew it was coming to a pitiful end. I couldn’t find another job, and so I was being forced to leave.

Yet here I am. I have been unemployed for 138 days now, at least a hundred more days than I ever imagined I would be unemployed, and I’m still standing.

I no longer have a beautiful apartment on Lake Washington, but now I have a house that I share with my loving, supportive boyfriend. I can no longer afford to buy myself clothes, but instead, what little money I receive from unemployment I use for flowers in my garden, or home cooked meals on my table. I can’t afford to go bar hopping with friends any longer, so instead I sit on my porch with a cheap glass of wine and enjoy the company of people who care. Now that I no longer spend 40 hours a week at work I finally have time to start a blog (The Accidental Olympian), take more pictures, keep in touch with friends, and enjoy nature. The city I loved so much kept me from having the time, or space to get a dog. Now that I am no longer working, I finally adopted a puppy, and can enjoy being a dog owner once again. I might not live in a bustling city any longer, but now I take afternoon walks along the river and find enjoyment being in nature. EVERYTHING in my life is different after loosing my job, and as hard as it was to take in all these changes at once, now that I’m here, accepting my life, things are better than they were pre-unemployment.

I still get down. Only yesterday I found out that both of the jobs I interviewed for, both of the jobs I worked so hard to receive, selected a different candidate for the position. It’s hard to continue to accept second place, it never feels good to know I wasn’t their top choice, but I keep applying, keep searching. Eventually my life will change, either with a new job, a new opportunity, or a new chance. Until then I’ve learned to live with the uncertainty, accept my life as it has become, and keep moving forward.

Ashley

Olympia, WA